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Sep '98
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'Defying Gravity'
By: Dawn Ivory
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A clip from the Chicago Tribune spoke volumes in its headline and subhead: "US jail population jumps by 9 percent; Drop in crime rate has no corresponding drop in incarceration."
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Sep '98
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'Defying Gravity'
By: Dawn Ivory
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A clip from the Chicago Tribune spoke volumes in its headline and subhead: "US jail population jumps by 9 percent; Drop in crime rate has no corresponding drop in incarceration."
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Aug '98
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Making Mom Proud (well, sort of)
By: Dawn Ivory
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Oh dear. The folks at (yet to be published) Arrow magazine have announced a name change (but they didn't say what lawsuit prompted it). |
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Aug '98
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Recherche des bains perdus
By: Dawn Ivory
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A recent article in the Economist notes that the French, "never especially praised" for their "standards of hygiene," are installing bidets in only 10 percent of new residences-- down from the 95 percent
just twenty years ago. |
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Jul '98
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The Assholes at GLAAD
By: Dawn Ivory
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A recent news blurb from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation praised federal efforts to "protect" children using the Internet. |
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Jul '98
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Viagra: Reducing the 'Endangered' List?
By: Dawn Ivory
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The Economist's science and technology section recently carried an article suggesting that rhinos, tigers, and other endangered species may be among the beneficiaries of the erection-enhancing drug
Viagra. |
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Jul '98
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Not Again!?!
By: Dawn Ivory
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Watch out-- republicratic/demoblican sychophants and gay christians are attempting to organize a march on Washington even worse than the 1993 debacle (wherein the focus was proving that we could be loyal soldiers and faithful spouses). |
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Jul '98
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First Amendment Lite
By: Dawn Ivory
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Joan E. Bertin, executive director of the New York City-based National Coalition Against Censorship, shows, like so many liberals, a tenuous grasp of the First Amendment. |
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Jul '98
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"Who had the two kosher plates and the kid's meal?"
By: Dawn Ivory
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A curious news item from Reuters reported that one of two rabbis accused of "molesting" a 15-year-old girl on a plane in route from Los Angeles to Sydney managed to escape any prison time in exchange
for 500 hours of community service and "counseling." |
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Jul '98
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"New, Tasty Syrup for Cranky Infants..."?
By: Dawn Ivory
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A peppermint version of their feel good drug? |
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Jul '98
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She Should Know
By: Dawn Ivory
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Last July the teeny town of Oak Grove, Kentucky, debated whether the New Life Massage Parlor was really a whorehouse. |
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Jul '98
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Infant Sacrifice
By: Dawn Ivory
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The Food and Drig Administration recently approved "Apligraf," a living bandage composed of human cells cultured from foreskins from human infants and collagen from cows. |
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Jul '98
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More than Waffles
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn has read that last year Antwerp prostitutes, in a public relations effort, hosted an open house in that city's red light district. |
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Jul '98
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All Too Rare Common Sense
By: Dawn Ivory
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Toronto's Globe and Mail recently ran an astonishing opinion piece from R.E. Lieb, a father of eight. |
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Jul '98
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Dangerous Felon? Innocent Baby? Or Both!
By: Dawn Ivory
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Chicago cops may be facing a legal dilemma. |
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Jul '98
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Knives Okay, Copping a Feel a No-No
By: Dawn Ivory
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As by fate, just after squibbing the above item, a colleague handed Dawn an item from the San Diego press detailing how a 11-year-old boy has been convicted of felonious sexual assault for touching the
titties of two girls, age 12 and 13, without their consent. |
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Jul '98
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Loyal to the Party
By: Dawn Ivory
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If Barney Frank ever gets tired of carrying Bill Clinton's water, he can ask Virginia Apuzzo for help. |
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Jun '98
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Sociologist with Brains
By: Dawn Ivory
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Seventy-four-year-old D. Carleton Gajdusek spent much of the 1960s studying the social and sexual practices of various South Pacific islanders. |
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Jun '98
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Hugh on Hillary
By: Dawn Ivory
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Playboy's Hugh Hefner recently ran an intriguing editorial in his bunny mag (a periodical, Dawn might add, that is, in its understanding of sexual liberation and freedom of expression,
infinitely gayer than those putrid "gay" life-styles slicks). |
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May '98
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Toilet Sex Sells!
By: Dawn Ivory
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Too bad The Guide's note in last month's Newslant section about reporter
cum cops spying on T-room highjinks didn't alert pop singer George Michael in time to avoid being nailed by dirt in early April. |
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May '98
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What Trumps Brutal Murder...?
By: Dawn Ivory
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Upon hearing of the recent schoolyard tragedy in Jonesboro (wherein two young teen boys allegedly shot and killed female classmates and a teacher) Dawn predicted that their only possible defense would be
to claim that they were "raped" as children. |
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May '98
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News from the Depths
By: Dawn Ivory
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Claiming that "Mississippians values are adjusted very differently than the East and the West," Steve Holland, a legislator from the Pellagra State, has successfully pressured University of Mississippi officials
to ban "sleep-overs" in Ole Miss dorms. |
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Apr '98
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Slow Dancing Banned
By: Dawn Ivory
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The Fullerton, California, School Board has decided to ban hugging, kissing, back-patting, and "high fives" at school dances. |
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Apr '98
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Penne with Cream Sauce, Anyone?
By: Dawn Ivory
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The Chicago Sun-Times reports that Thomas Reiter, a suburban school superintendent, is in hot water for showing other school bureaucrats a box of penis-shaped pasta at a faculty meeting. |
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Apr '98
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Privatizing Homosex
By: Dawn Ivory
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The Christian Family Network, a charming group in Cincinnati, has come out in support of that burgette's queer community center's plans to rent a local amusement park for a "gay day." |
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Apr '98
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Phyllis Schlafly Was Right
By: Dawn Ivory
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Ann Landers recently ran a column in which a man complained about fathers bringing their young daughters into men's toilets to wait while they (the fathers) used the crapper. |
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Mar '98
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Starr Chamber Spin-offs
By: Dawn Ivory
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Mar '98
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Mother-Improved Buttfucking, Asslicking, Cocksucking!
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn continues to retch at how the Human Rites Fund, NGLTF, GLAAD and other homo groups busy themselves promoting HomoSexuality® at the expense of sexual liberation. |
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Mar '98
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Virtually Catholic
By: Dawn Ivory
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Andrew Sullivan, gay apologist and victim of best-little-boy-in-the-world syndrome, has frequently irritated Dawn with his oft-repeated claim that he "almost certainly" got HIV from oral sex. |
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Mar '98
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Big Bucks Butt
By: Dawn Ivory
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Dawn was startled to read that the University of Tennessee agreed to pay $300,000 to a female trainer who had been out on three months of medical leave. |
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