Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Dawn, like so many other queers, has from time to time wondered about the political wisdom of linking gay liberation (whatever that means nowadays...) with feminism. Certainly, as we've watched feminism devolve into demands that a Daddy state protect Mommies and Kiddies from penises, cigarettes, and high fat foods, we must wonder where sexual freedom fits into the agenda. (Of course, the gay agenda has gotten far off track too, what with GLBT executives' contemptible attempts to compensate for their second-class sexuality by over-exerted efforts to prove they can be tidy neighbors, loyal soldiers, and monogamous spouses....)

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Still, there is a link between winning more sexual freedom for all and challenging constrictive gender-based sex rules. To this end, Dawn would like to suggest appropriating some feminist claptrap, re-working it, and sending it back out to do useful work.

One of the mantras of modern feminism is that "No means no." Such a trope has developed, of course, partly in reaction to boorish men's inability to respect women's autonomy, but it also has roots in anti-sex prudery. Girls are trained to be seduced, to resist the sex they truly desire lest they be seen as being a "slut." Thus, their lips can murmur "no no no" while their writhing bodies and wandering hands scream "yes yes yes! " Their partners are thus left confused-- and sometimes accused of violations of consent that seemed well- evident no matter the syllables uttered during the heated moments.

For no to mean no-- unambiguously-- it cannot also simultaneously mean yes-I-really- want-to-but-have-to-seem-pure; therefore, anyone who supports "empowering" (yuch) females, must necessarily support teaching girls that they have the right to say yes!

Thus, the new, sensible mantra would go something like, "no means no and yes means yes... and a slight moan with a drooling mouth means yes, and don't keep bothering me with these questions, just keep doing it!"