Further Reading

Pick One
** Mastrubation Survey

November 1998

Mastrubation Survey

By Bill Andriette

1) I last masturbated to orgasm

___ in the past hour

___ in the past six hours

___ today

___ yesterday

___ in the past three days

___ in the past week

___ in the past month

___ in the past two months

___ in the past six months

___ in the past year

___ more than a year ago

___ I've never masturbated

2) I was ____ years old the first time I played with my cock

3) I was ____ years old the first time I had an orgasm (wet or dry) through masturbation

4) I first figured out how to masturbate because

___ someone taught me

if so, who? _________

___ I read about it

___ I discovered it on my own

5) I've masturbated (not necessarily to orgasm) in (check all that apply)

___ a train

___ a plane

___ a library

___ at work

___ a public toilet

___ on a boat

___ my kitchen

___ in the bathroom

___ in a car

___ in a gas station

___ in a store

___ in school

6) The most unusual place I've masturbated is

_______________________

_______________________

7) As a boy, my parents caught me masturbating &

___ ignored it

___ told me to stop

___ threatened me with punishment

___ punished me-- if so, how? _________________

_______________________

8) At one point in my life, I felt guilty about masturbating.

___ very much agree

___ agree

___ not sure

___ disagree

___ very much disagree

9) I feel guilty about masturbating now

___ very much agree

___ agree

___ not sure

___ disagree

___ very much disagree

10) When I masturbate, I usually do it for

___ under five minutes

___ five to ten minutes

___ ten to 20 minutes

___ 20 to 30 minutes

___ around an hour

___ more than an hour

11) When I finish masturbating, usually it's because

___ I can't keep it hard anymore

___ I fall asleep

___ it's time to do something else

___ I shoot my load

___ I get bored

12) If someone offered you money not to masturbate for a year, but with no other limit on your sex life, what's the least amount you would settle for?

$ ___________

13) I'm most likely to masturbate in the

___ morning

___ afternoon

___ evening

___ at night

14) As I masturbate I fantasize about....

(check all that apply)

___ the hottest sex I've had

___ porn stars

___ my most recent sexual encounters

___ things I would never do in real life

___ about much older people

___ Hollywood actors

___ my usual sex partner

___ events from the distant past

___ about people hotter than I usually sleep with

___ my first boyfriend

___ about much younger people

___ I don't fantasize when I masturbate

15) You are kidnapped by Monzonian terrorists who demand that either you agree never to masturbate again for the rest of your life (a stipulation they can enforce), or you agree to let them cut off your left ear. Which do you give up?

___ my left ear

___ masturbation

16) I masturbate because (check all that apply)

___ I'm horny

___ I don't have anyone to have sex with

___ as a way to get to sleep

___ my lover is away

___ I'm bored

___ I just saw some really hot guy

___ I just read a hot story/saw some hot images

___ another reason ______________________

17) Most often, I like to masturbate by manipulating my cock this way:

_______________________

_______________________

18) if you use your hands in masturbating, do you use one hand more than the other?

___ yes

___ no

19) If yes, which hand?

___ right

___ left

20) Which hand do you write with?

___ right

___ left

21) I've given myself an orgasm without touching my cock

-no

-yes if so, how? _______________________

22) As I stimulate my cock, I often like doing something else:

(check all that apply)

___ fondle my balls

___ tweak my nipples

___ caress my asshole

___ stroke my abdomen

___ put something in my ass

___ hold my breath

___ do something that tickles

___ do something that hurts

___ be tied up

___ something else ________________________

_______________________

_______________________

23) My favorite position for masturbating

___ standing up

___ lying on my stomach

___ lying on my back

___ lying on my side

___ something else

24) In general, I have stronger, more pleasurable orgasms from

___ getting sucked

___ fucking

___ masturbating myself

___ getting fucked

___ sucking

___ having someone else masturbate me

___ something else

25) Since you first started, the longest period I've gone without masturbating is ___________________

26) And the reason was?

_______________________

27) The most unusual thing I've done while masturbating is

______________________

28) The longest period of time I've masturbated continuously is _________

29) When I start masturbating, I end up having an orgasm

___ always

___ sometime

___ never

30) When I masturbate and come, I usually do this with my semen:

___ shoot all over myself

___ shoot into tissue or clothing

___ swallow it

___ use whatever's handy to clean up

31) You have an hour to kill on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Rank the following on a 1-to-6 scale (1 the thing you want to do most, 6 the thing you want to do least)

__ watch TV

__ do the laundry

__ read

__ masturbate

__ go for a walk

__ eat

32) I masturbate whether or not I'm having other kinds of sex.

___ very much agree

___ agree

___ not sure

___ disagree

___ very much disagree

33) When I start masturbating, I keep going till I come

___ always

___ sometimes

___ rarely

___ never

34) I use lube when I masturbate

___ always

___ sometimes

___ rarely

___ never

35) I am

__ uncircumcised

__ circumcised

36) At some point I've tried the following lubes

___ cooking oil

___ Crisco

___ soap

___ butter

___ vaseline

___ spit

___ pre-come

___ hand lotion

___ soap

___ lard

___ something else _____

37) If I use lube, my favorite is

______________________

38) I'm better than anyone else at stimulating my own dick

___ very much agree

___ agree

___ not sure

___ disagree

___ very much disagree

39) I am _____ years old.

40) I think of myself as

___ gay

___ bisexual

___ straight

___ something else ______

41) I live in

___ the city

___ the suburbs

___ the country

Author Profile: Bill Andriette
Bill Andriette is features editor of The Guide
Email:	theguide@guidemag.com