Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Officials at the University of Vermont have their panties in a knot after allegations of hockey team hazing have launched a federal lawsuit, a state investigation, and much campus turmoil.

Dawn confesses that when reading such stories, the legal folderol bores; one has to skip to near the end of such articles to get to the juicy stuff.

As near as Dawn can determine, the "hazing" became an issue after freshman crybaby Corey LaTulippe didn't make the team. (He was trying out for goalie.) Now 20 years old, the fancily named LaTulippe has decided that since he's not destined to make money playing in the NHL, he'll make hockey pay in another way.

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In his lawsuit, LaTulippe said that the team's new players, at an alcohol-drenched party last October in an off-campus house, had been "coerced into parading naked while holding each other's genitals." He also said they had been told to do push-ups while dipping their private parts (presumably just their cocks and nuts and not their assholes, their truly most "private" parts) into glasses of beer, after which they had to drink the beer. And he said that the young players had been blindfolded and fondled by strippers to amuse the veteran hockey players.

"It should not have occurred," LaTulippe said in a deposition last May. Dawn whole-heartedly concurs-- what the hell was that stripper doing there!? She likely prevented the boys from escalating the highjinks into the fellatio, analingus, and fudge-packing that they craved but would be too chickenshit to attempt without the excuses of alcohol and athleticism....