Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Dawn was pleased to catch PBS's recent broadcast of the pilot of the British comedy "Are You Being Served?" This particular show was eye-catching, for it was the only AYBS episode in black and white. (Dawn subsequently learned it was rushed onto the small screen in 1972 to fill airtime left empty by the terrorist attacks at the Munich Olympics that year.)

Noteworthy for cinematic camera work (instead of the Desilu-pioneered three-camera sitcom standard), the pilot sparkles with original wit and vitality which all-too-often waned in following episodes (which came to rely on well-rolled eyeballs, Mr. Humphries minces and frocks, and near-constant references to Mrs. Slocombe's ever-needy pussy).

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The pilot opens in Grace Brothers Department store with Captain Peacock's team in gent's ready-made learning that they will be required to share their floorspace with Mrs. Slocombe's and Miss Brahms' ladies' intimate apparel. (Being a British sitcom, all the shows revolve around some upset to the prevailing social/class order.) The usual double entendres reign-- as much is made of Mrs. Slocombe wanting to take down Mr. Grainger's trousers... from the display stand... in order to display her own oversized bra-- but what caught Dawn's attention were the homosex remarks. They were subtextual, but nonetheless startling for 1972, and they underscore just how much gay sensibility we've lost as the gay movement has devolved into a crusade to become soldiers and mommies and husbands.

Mr. Lucas, the junior sales clerk in the men's department, is eager to prove himself and so throws himself at a would-be patron, launching into a long spiel about the the virtues of the Grace Brother's overcoat. After his interminable pitch, the assaulted patron announces he's simply looking for the gent's loo. Mr. Grainger turns to the ever-queeny Mr. Humphries, and says knowingly, "Ah yes, it's raining. I suppose they'll all be coming in now."

Now, Dawn can only suppose the remark is meant to imply that outdoor cruisers inconvenienced by the rain will turn Grace Brothers' more commodious toilet into a well-trod t-room. (Dawn has sometimes-- with strictly an academic interest, mind you-- noticed precisely such shifts in foot traffic in any number of downtown venues around the world....) The casual acceptance of homo hijinx in this 1972 primetime offering, coded tho it may be, stands in contrast to today's attitudes whereby second offenses of such activity can have "offenders" branded sexually dangerous persons for life. We've clearly come a long way since those dark ages....

A central plot twist to the AYBS pilot revolves around Captain Peacock's misplaced membership card to the local "blue cinema." Mr. Lucas finds it on the floor and is initially delighted to have such a tasty bit of incriminating dirt with which to taunt his insufferably pretentious superior. While cautioning Mr. Lucas that it might not be in his best interests to embarrass the boss, Mr. Humphries reveals an intimate knowledge of the layout of the porn cinema in question: "It's that place around the corner where all the gentlemen sit with their topcoats in their laps," with the unstated subtext, thereby hiding their masturbatory activities. Mr. Lucas, baffled as to why his flaming colleague would know anything about such (presumably hetero) cinematic offerings, asks how Mr. Humphries knows about the place. "Oh, my therapist sent me there," Mr. Humphries tells him. "Did it work?" Mr. Lucas responds. "That's none of your business," retorts Mr. Humphries.

Today, of course, we have greater reverence for therapists and would never suggest them capable of subjecting patients (aka, clients...) to the degradation of pornography. This AYBS episode was a decade before the Meese commission, after all, so the dangers of porn were not as well understood then as they are in today's more enlightened times....