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By
Giacomo Tramontagna
Jarhead
Rating: 2 Stars
Produced by Dan Cross. Directed by Dirk Yates. Videography by James C. Stark and Ty Box. Starring Mason Jarr, Luke Savage, J.J. Bond, Gino, T.C. Pierce, Christopher Stone, Mark Vincent Price,
Tom Adams, Dan Donovan, Tanner Hayes, Dean Phoenix, and Brandon Small.
How to order
Jarhead is set in the world of Dirk Yates, where men are men and women are bitches. Manly men are straight, of course, but understand their buddies' needs. The truest, purest manly men, the penis elite,
belong to the armed forces, where men can look like men and act like men and be together all the time. To his credit, director Yates has a sense of humor about this swinish mystique, but he also seems to take it seriously.
In the opening sequence, Mason Jarr (that's right), attending a college homecoming dance in his Marine dress blues, meets tuxedoed civilian Dan Donovan at a men's room urinal. Both have lost their
dates. They repair to the back seat of Donovan's rented limo and make suave conversation. Donovan: "That fuckin' bitch, I can't believe she passed out on me. I'm just gonna leave her there." Jarr: "I dunno about
my bitch. She's probably in the bathroom eating pussy or something." Then they suck each other for a very long time before jacking off all over the upholstery.
In the second episode, Marines Tom Adams and Brandon Small (who isn't), on a weekend pass in Hawaii, stagger into their hotel room, complain that the local whores are expensive "ugly bitches"
with "snaggly teeth," and then have at each other. In the next episode, the best of four, three recruits doze in their bunks while J.J. Bond, unable to sleep, gets up and starts chinning himself on a bar. As he hoists himself up,
his cock falls out of his boxer shorts and stiffens. The ensuing orgy draws in Gino, who returns naked from a shower, and Jarr, who watches and masturbates. A concluding group scene, in what looks like a set from Yates's
Choke 'Em series, isn't as successful; perhaps the cast's testosterone supply had peaked and dropped off before it was shot.
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