Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

A lot of marketing hype crosses Dawn's desk every month, most of tangential, at best, interest. But a recent offering intrigued.

"Butt Pirate" is, we learn from an industry press release, "the only product on the market that deodorizes, safely evacuates, and protects the bottom about to have vanilla or more extreme play."

Chris Hull, owner of BP's distributor French Connection, told the trade press, "This product is great to use after a shower douche. It will moisturize your customers' insides and deodorize them, and keeps them returning to buy more."

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Hull said he developed the product for personal reasons.

"I came up with Butt Pirate because I was tired of my dick smelling like shit," he said. "Everybody likes to fuck a clean ass. But sometimes, no matter how clean you are, you still don't feel clean or even smell clean. So I came up with this product to make sure that all my boys smell fresh and feel fresh."

Dawn is reminded of Florence King's paean to southern good ol' boys; archetypal of them, King wrote, was one paramour who found himself befuddled in the "feminine hygiene" aisle of a drugstore. Examining the plethora of "freshening" and "deodorizing" douches and sprays, the charming GOB finally figured out their purpose and looked up at Miss King puzzled: "What's the matter with pussy?" Indeed. Dawn reminds Mr. Hull that many men might be more intoxicated by a naturally raunchy ass than one that's been rinsed with Febreze....