Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Dawn is fond of repeating the late, great Boyd McDonald's on-target observation, "why does rape always seem to happen to people who don't want it?" Boyd was noting, of course, both the irony that the brutality that many recoil from others find erotically irresistible, and the importance of context in evaluating sexual activity: someone yelling "rape! rape!" while being buggered savagely may be enduring a horrific assault... or experiencing once-in-a-lifetime rapture. Dawn's father enjoyed the same ambiguity while viewing the print of Bernini's statue "The Ecstasy of St. Theresa" hung in his bedroom: pa used to wink that Terri's evident bliss seemed inspired by something other than a closer walk with God. Context is everything.

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Thus, Dawn was intrigued by a clip sent by a New York City reader recounting a sexual harassment case involving security workers at the Des Moines International(!) Airport. If press reports are to be believed, Dan McRae was fond of talking about sex with co-worker Jennifer Pirie. The frequent focus of his discussions was, evidently, the size of his penis, which he repeatedly offered to show Jennifer. (Perhaps Dan has a career as a Supreme Court justice in his future....) One evening Dan did precisely that, calling attention to both his member's size and unusual birthmark. (In their usual maddeningly-delicate way, reporters fail to confirm-- or refute-- Dan's claim to be hung heavy; no details are offered as to his organ's true length or girth.)

Weeks later, Jennifer got pissed after being fired for wearing a forbidden tongue-stud to work and sued the security company for not protecting her from Dan's earlier exhibitionism. Amazingly, the company prevailed since Jennifer had failed to complain at the time of the flashing (which she "endured" for "three minutes"; hmmmm...), and Dan had done nothing physically threatening.

Dawn was struck that the very behavior Jennifer alleged to be traumatic, many, many, many homosexuals would find a valuable fringe benefit: a horny co-worker willing to daringly parade his (preemptively) attractive meat in efforts to relieve workplace monotony. Perhaps if companies were interested in reducing their exposure to sexual harassment claims, they should more carefully screen out prissy would-be workers and preferentially hire those men (and women) who have the sexual morals of promiscuous dogs. In the context of a kennel, after all, very little sexual offense is ever taken....