Loose Lips	Loose Lips Archive

Miss Poubelle has been intrigued by the recent rise in the use of the illuminating term MSM­ men who have sex with men­ as a phrase to describe the full range of gay men, regularly bisexual men, and men who are primarily straight but occasionally or infrequently have sex with other men. MSM primarily seems to be used by health-care workers to describe the sort of men who are the potential audience for information about HIV, syphilis, and other sexually-transmitted diseases.

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Why is it appropriate to call guys who connect with other men for sex MSM rather than gay or bisexual? In Blanche's view, MSM is a better word because being gay or bisexual is a matter of public identity. In some strict sense of the word, any man who has sex with both men and women is technically bisexual. But many MSM don't think of themselves this way­ they think that they are straight guys who like to get (or give) a blowjob from time to time.

And this self-perception plays a major role in what kind of information is most likely to reach these guys. MSM who think of themselves as straight are far less likely to pick up The Guide or some other overtly gay magazine where they will see safe-sex information. These guys are also much less likely to visit a local bar or bathhouse, because that's too overtly and unambiguously gay. Instead, the Internet is providing a new and anonymous way for MSM to hook up with other MSM without having to take the chance of visiting a publicly gay establishment.

There is a fascinating discussion at http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu of the correlation between Internet hook-ups and sexually-transmitted diseases among MSM. Several studies have demonstrated that MSM who hook up via the Internet have a significantly higher number of incidents of STDs, and are more likely to engage in unsafe sex. Men who use the Internet to meet other men, in fact, have higher rates of STDs than men who visit bathhouses and sex clubs. The experts discuss a few possible reasons for this correlation. The hypotheses that have been mentioned include a higher degree or anonymity, less available information about safe sex, reduced availability of condoms, and the younger age of Internet users.

Miss Poubelle suspects that all of these might play a role, and she also suspects one other reason, which she will call the fuck-it factor. The fuck-it factor works like this­ you've already driven across town to meet this guy from the Internet, but when you get to his house there are no condoms, or he won't use one. And you could cause a scene, get out of the bed, put your clothes on, drive home, and get back on the Internet to find someone else. But if you're horny and don't feel like going to all that trouble, you're likely to say "fuck it!" and take the risk.

The fuck-it factor is much less likely to play a role at a bathhouse or sex-club because you're surrounded by other horny men. All you have to do is say "no thanks" and find someone else at the place. No fuss, no muss. Getting to someone's house creates a strong presupposition that the sex is going ahead one way or another, but you don't commit yourself to the same degree when you meet up with someone in a club.

The paradox of the straight-identified MSM who uses the Internet for hook-ups is that the web seems anonymous and safe to these guys. They don't want to commit to a public identity as a gay or bisexual man. But agreeing to a hook-up at a stranger's house tends to commit you to going through with sex that is often more dangerous than public sex in an explicitly gay venue. What seems dangerous (a gay bath) is safer than what seems safe (the Internet). How to convey that message to the men at risk is a puzzle that our public health authorities desperately need to solve.