Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

"[There] was a depressing face-off about Trent Lott's statement [that homosexuality was sinful] on CNN's 'The Larry King Show' between Gary Bauer, head of the conservative Family Research Council, and openly gay Rep. Barney Frank of Massachusetts," notes lesbo gadfly Camille Paglia, in a recent column in the on-line Salon Magazine.

"It would be difficult," Camille continues, "to say which of the two guests was more physically repellent as a specimen of alleged manhood: the creepy, desiccated, squirrely Bauer or the nasty, whiny Frank, with his puny infant's mouth still squalling for mama's bottle. How bizarre it was to watch homosexuality being acrimoniously debated by two asexual blobs who are still licking their wounds from getting squashed and scorned by all the guys and dolls in the schoolyard."

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Now, Camille may be a tad, uh, looksist in her denunciation of The Closet Case and The Ex-Closet Case on the "Larry King Show," but she does suggest that perhaps we, as a movement, could be more demanding about who gets to speak for us. Dawn would never require that our "spokespeople" be vetted simply on looks, but rather

offers a more meaningful litmus test: whoever wants to talk about gay issues on television should be ready, willing, and able to suck a dick or eat a pussy (whichever be appropriate) on camera! Anyone unable or unwilling to perform these basic acts of homosexuality should, it seems to Dawn, be disqualified from speaking on gay issues.