Sex Histories	Sex Histories Archive

Sheriffs Scrutinize Deputy's Underpants

After a 22-year-old woman in El Monte, California reported that a sheriff's deputy raped her, the sheriff's Internal Criminal Investigation Bureau confiscated the deputy's underpants.

The Daily Breeze, which reported the alleged rape, did not make clear exactly how the underpants could be used to develop evidence. Sniffing them and licking them would give a great deal of secret information about the man, but it would all be irrelevant, incompetent, and immaterial to investigators. I doubt that the sheriff's investigators could distinguish clearly the flavors and fragrances of piss, cum, saliva, sweat, and pussy sauce.

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Nor did the paper say whether the deputy wore bikinis, jockey shorts, or boxers.

He is accused of "forcible rape and forcible oral copulation." This suggests that he fucked her mouth.

If he has a juicy dick, the fly of his underpants might well contain an encrusted deposit of his cum; but the deputy could, if he wanted, account for this by claiming that he had beat his meat and after he shot his wad and put on his underpants a few drops of cock juice seeped out of his piss-hole.

The rape allegedly took place on the back seat of the deputy's patrol car. The paper does not specify whether he took off his pants and shorts or merely lowered them.

I hope that the apparatus who sent the clipping will keep us informed about the analysis of the deputy's lingerie.

Man at Mall Has No Pants, Underpants

An apparatus in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania regrets that he missed an aesthetic experience at the store where he has his hair done.

A woman employee of the store-- Holiday Hair Fashions on Jamesway Plaza-- reports that she heard a man yell. She turned around and saw "a white male, with dark hair and moustache, standing beside a small red hatch-back vehicle," says the Gettysburg Times. The man asked for directions to U.S Route 15. The woman walked around his car, toward him, and "noticed he was not wearing any pants or underclothes. She turned around, ran back into the business, and called the police."

But millions of people with a more developed artistic sense would find this an aesthetic experience, like looking at a painting in a museum. For these fortunate millions, the streets are their art museums.

Editor's Note: Excerpted from Lewd, Boyd McDonald's 12th volume of true sex histories.

Author Profile:  Boyd McDonald

Born in 1925 in South Dakota, Boyd McDonald entered Harvard as a high-school dropout after serving in the army in World War II. Jobs with Time, IBM, and several Wall Street firms preceded Boyd's career as a chronicler of gay sex. He was the founder and editor of Straight to Hell (alternatively the Manhattan Review of Cocksucking), and later published a number of anthologies of true sex histories. Boyd died in September 1993, two months after completing his final book, Scum.