Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Dawn wishes that the news that police citations of men having sex in the dunes of Cape Cod have tripled in the past year (132, up from the average of 40) reflected an uptick in horniness and/or sexual ballsiness on the part of gay tourists lured to the beauty of Provincetown and its surroundings. But, sadly, such increased police harassment of al fresco frolic no doubt reflects nothing more that the usual homophobic catering to those sexual buzz-kills, the dreaded "families" for whom everyone and everything everywhere is forced to be "friendly."

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Thanks to the astute reader who sent Dawn a related clip from the (online) Boston Herald, a Rupert Murdoch tabloid which competes with the Boston Globe for Most Puritanical honors. After the usual "news" story about Mom 'n' Dad horrified that The Kids might see a dick in the dunes, came readers comments, termed by Dawn's informant "an x-ray on the current sexual zeitgeist." As such, they frightened:

"Disgusting -- these are the people who want to be treated like everyone else. Good -- take the special interest label off of them and throw them in jail; then, make them sign the sex offender register for lewd, indecent behavior and exposure."

"The gay community wonders why they are not treated like everyone else. They should all be arrested and registered as sex offenders. PIGS!! Go move to France."

"I am a lesbian, and even I find it disgusting to know that fellow gays feel it's appropriate to perform in such a disrespectful manner. Gay pride is not what this kind of behavior invokes. More like gay shame."

"The only thing that will fix this problem is vigilantism but that won't happen in a state that has no real men. If there were real men there this situation would have never come up."

Of course, the predictable screeds were relieved with gay humor, too:

"With all this going on, Why isn't the Chowderfest being held in P-town? This is an outrage!"

"The least these folks could do is cover up the nudity with a 'I Am the Man From Nantucket' T-shirt."

"They must have taken a wrong exit off the Bourne rotary. Gay Head [a real town name] is on the Vineyard..." (To which one wag replies, "What about the sign that says 'Entering [Cape Cod town] Dennis'?"

No one, though, thought to suggest that Barry Manilow needs to change his lyrics -- perhaps something like, "If you like pi–a coladas / And getting caught in the rain... / If you'd like making love at midnight / In the dunes on the Cape / It's hetero love that you'll look for / You'll be arrested if not strait...."