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Prague Rising
Rating: 2 Stars
Studio 2000. Produced by Scott Masters. Directed by Derek Kent. Written by Tyler Adams. Videography by Ross Cannon. Edited by Kevin Glover. Music by Rock Hard. Starring Ales Hanak, Pavel Novotny, John Eric, Eric Stuart, Booby Parks, and Kristian Brooks.
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It's a dark and stormy night. Four psychic researchers are encamped in a spooky old house. Two are brothers; two are lovers; all are gay. They play Clue, bicker, and discuss their mission. Eric Stuart, organizer of the expedition, provides a semi-coherent explanation of how the premises came to be haunted. It's a turgid story of a fiendish European count with a penchant for fellating village lads into a coma; two gay Franciscan monks whose love subverted the count's evil spell; and an elderly archaeologist who fled to the United States.

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A likelier apparition at this California hacienda would be Norma Desmond, but the resident ghosts are actually the archaeologist's two male apprentices. Since they're just bit players in Stuart's tangled narrative, none of which is dramatized, it's fair to ask why we're subjected to nearly 15 minutes of leaden, elaborate exposition before Prague Rising even tries to get off the ground.

When, at last, boyfriends Kristian Brooks and Bobby Parks repair to their bedroom for tame sex, their psychosexual vibes implausibly wake the dead. In a locked chamber, the apprentices' plywood sarcophagi burst asunder, and Czech hunks Ales Hanak and Pavel Novotny materialize on slabs in medieval-looking peasant garb. It's unclear whether they're ectoplasmic or solid; whatever they are, they're horny as hell. Since the sex keeps threatening to ignite and doesn't, however, many viewers won't make it as far as the cryptic ending.

One odd feature of this video is that the closing credits mis-identify Pavel Novotny as Ales Hanak and vice versa. Since Studio 2000 took the trouble to import and promote these Czech models, you'd think it might take the trouble to learn which is which.