Loose Lips	Loose Lips Archive

The world of transgender is a wide one, and ranges from men who simply enjoy wearing women's clothing to those who take hormones to alter their external appearance to those who undergo full-fledged sex-reassignment surgery. It's confusing to try to separate the transvestites from the pre-op transsexuals from the post-op transsexuals, and perhaps in response to this one sometimes hears the more ambiguous tranny, which takes the first syllable of transsexual or transvestite without any necessary commitment to exactly where on the gender spectrum the person falls.

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Miss Poubelle believes that the word tranny may be more widespread in Britain and Australia, based on the number of citations on the web. All but one of the instances of this sense of tranny came from those two countries. Miss Poubelle consulted a tranny friend who said that she had occasionally heard the word in the US, but mostly in connection with pornography. And indeed, if you enter the word tranny into your favorite search engine, many of the hits will involve flicks featuring chicks with dicks.

But Miss Poubelle was amused to find that by far the largest use of the word tranny on the Internet has to do with automobile transmissions. There seem to be an unending number of web pages where people complain about problems they are having with their cars, and tranny problems rank high on the list. She imagines the confusion that might result should a young tranny turn to the internet for resources.

At one page she will encounter a discussion of a "sure cure for tranny whine," but much to her dismay, the cure will not involve Victoria's Secret, but the injection of certain sealants! A discussion of "tranny fluids" sounds like it might be rather exciting, but imagine her disappointment to find that the fluids involved come from the old Pep Boys Manny, Moe, and Jack rather than the new girls Celeste, Tyger, or Vanessa. And the potentially titillating silicone additives recommended are only meant to lubricate engine parts, not augment a new bosom.

Many other internet mentions of trannies convey a real sense of alarm about the subject: "My tranny is SCREWED! HELP!!!" writes one user. Another commiserates with us about the cracks in his tranny. Still others write to complain about the "chattering trannies," "clunky trannies," and "tranny growl" that make their lives miserable. One desperate soul even went so far as to post e-mail with the subject line "bruiser parts wanted for tranny."

But all is not lost. Two repair shops stand ready to help. The Tranny Doctor and the Tranny King both advertise their services at restoring old, worn trannies to good health. At these havens, trannies will be rehabilitated, cleaned, and lubricated. They may even have parts replaced, if they so desire. But they still can't expect their HMO to cover the repairs....