
November 2006 Cover
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By
Dawn Ivory
Thanks to the BBC for a thoroughly engaging news story about Guolizhuang restaurant, "Beijing's penis emporium."
Writer Andrew Harding opens his September 23rd piece with sheer poetry: "The dish in front of me is gray and shiny. 'Russian dog,' says my waitress, Nancy. 'Big dog,' I reply. 'Yes,' she says. 'Big dog's penis....'" Students of journalism take note: that is a lead that grabs
the reader's attention.
Also on Andrew's platter: the same big dog's big (presumably) testicles, a donkey schlong, snakes penises (from a species which, according to Nancy-- who prefers the title "nutritionist" to waitress-- sports two per snake), as well as members from sheep, horses, oxen,
reindeer, and seals. Laughter from an upstairs private dining room is explained: "Government officials," says nutritionist Nancy. "Two of them upstairs. They're having the penis hotpot." Nothing like a steaming bowl of boiled animal dicks to set a festive mood....
Nancy confesses to peddling penises (at $5,700 a plate) hacked from endangered tigers' corpses. Growing ecological awareness and a keen marketing sensibility prompt her to note, though, that all her tiger penises are taken from animals that have died of old age, a lie
that only makes the dish all the more revolting-sounding, akin to saying, "Here, enjoy some deep-fried California condor-- don't worry, it's roadkill."
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Dirty Dishes!
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