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Before the Internet, there were gay men.

An exaggeration, maybe. But if your address book lists friends you could crash with in Amsterdam, Bangkok, Caracas, and Los Angeles, chances are pretty good you're gay.

More than serially- coupled heterosexuals or long-mating lesbians, gay males are the free radicals of social life. Rare is even the "monogamous" gay relationship not peppered by extramural flings. And if homophillic desire is defined by attraction to the same, on another level, it's characterized by the pursuit of the exotic. All the great pioneers of homosexual identity-- Oscar Wilde, Wilhelm Von Gloeden, André Gide-- were sex tourists. It wasn't just that 19th-century England, Germany, and France were so gray compared to the sunny Mediterranean. For the pioneers of queer, sex and love shared with people from other cultures, ethnicities, classes, and ages freed something in them that helped make them become who they were. Heterosexual couplings-- with in-laws, estates, dynastic alliances, and children at stake-- are weighed down by the practical imperatives of "proper" match-making. Heterosexuality turns out to be often more homogenous the deeper you look into it, while homosexuality, with relationships founded on nothing more than personal magnetics and pleasure, turns out to support a richer internal heterogeneity. Take that queer male lust for variety and throw in the democratization of travel and communications in the late 20th century, and the result is a gay worldwide web of friendship, affection, and sex. The Guide's Malebox personals department, which offers free ads to people outside of North America, is happy to serve as one of the looms.

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In the age of the Internet, we're accustomed to instant messages from halfway around the world. But only a tiny proportion of the global citizenry is wired. The Guide's personals section is based on solidly 19th-century technologies-- universal mail service, mechanized transport, and cheap paper. Even if literacy and knowledge of English are skills that exclude many, The Guide's personals remain a more revealing slice of gay life around the world than the Internet will for years to come.

This month our far-flung personals advertisers-- from Guyana to Finland to Nigeria and Indonesia-- answer queries we recently put to them. How did they come to place a personal ad in The Guide? How do men find each other for sex and companionship in their country? What are their own lives like? Fasten your seat belts, raise your tray tables, and get set for a whirlwind tour of gay life on planet earth. **

'Easygoing with sex'

TAHITI

The first time I saw The Guide was in a bar in Los Angeles, at Detours on Sunset Boulevard. I met good pen-pal friends, and now e-mail friends. I just had a sexual experience with a guy from LA met through the ads. We exchanged photos and we met easily at his home, and of course we experienced what we talked about through the mail.

Guys in Tahiti very easygoing with sex, but usually they want to play the active role and be sucked, never sucking. Guys meet usually at night or on a beach in daytime. But they don't want to be seen by somebody they know. The church's power is big. Usually, all the guys you meet are married, even if they say to you they prefer gay sex.

I'm 52 and was born in Spain. I'm a literature teacher working the Pacific for 25 years. I live here because wages are high (twice that what I would earn in France) and we have no income tax. All that lets me plenty of time for travel. I live with a guy I met 25 years ago, and we often travel together.

What I prefer maybe because of my origins is the Spanish Caribbean: Puerto Rico, Cuba, Dominican Republic. Sex is hot, plenty, easy. I like very much also the Arab countries-- Bahrain, Arab Emirates, Morocco, where men are handsome, sexy, and easygoing with sex. And what is interesting, they don't care if you are young, mature, or old. You are a man, that's all. In France, on the contrary, you have to be young to attract some interest in you.

'Just a little human happiness'

UKRAINE

Responding your interesting letter posted March 5 to my friend Stanislav , I would like to introduce myself. But firstly I would like to explain the situation why I write you. After the publication of his contact ad in The Guide, Stanislav has found his man for life in Raleigh, North Carolina. Now he is preparing the documents to move to your beautiful country.

He gave me your letter to answer. I should tell that the sexual liberation in the Ukraine is far away from perfect. Gay contacts are not prohibited by law (since December 1991), however the police discriminate gay people all the time. Also we have very strong homophobia in the mass media and public opinion. If someone lives openly gay he'll never find any job, he'll be treated very bad by other people (even his own relatives), and we have such many murders and suicides on the gay scene. It is a big tragedy for young gay guys like me. We still don't have any normal gay scene-- neither gay bars nor gay contact ads in the domestic press. All the gay life is concentrated in several public toilets in the central railway station. They are very dangerous places, not only because of police, but also the many aggressive teenagers who go there to attack gay people.

Also the very bad thing is that our authorities keep information about the rules of safer sex in secret from their people. They hesitate to disturb "public moral values." Now as the result of such unrespectable policy we have epidemic of AIDS in this country.

I do not hope that in the near future things will become better. We still have communist leaders and they will do everything to keep the people in atmosphere of ignorance and isolation from the rest of the world. Last year they adopted the new law-- 10 years imprisonment for spreading the pornography. Even in the Stalin-Brezhnev period the law was too soft for our new leaders (only one year imprisonment). Now Ukraine has the strongest law as somewhere in Libya or Iran.

I am 22 and work as fashion-model in very famous All-Ukrainian model agency, Asant. However Ukraine isn't any world fashion center. That's why I have to work as a waiter in one small restaurant just to survive. I get payment of 75 dollars monthly. It is not too bad for our living conditions, but is enough to buy only the simplest food in the market only. I can not effort to visit museums, cinemas, theaters, sport competitions, or to buy some new things like clothes or shoe. But the middle level of monthly salaries in Ukraine is on line of 60 dollars, so many people are even poorer than me.

My sexual life is not intensive because it is very difficult to find a real partner in the city I live in. Several times I was touched in subway by hands of another men (we have subway crowded by people every morning and evening). Afterwards we made acquaintance and had sex. But they were not of my taste at all. I made love with them just because of sex hunger.

I suppose that many Americans think that Russian gay guys want to leave their country just because of poorness. Sometimes it may be the real reason. But in the majority of cases, I am sure, the gay guys try to find a way out from the place they are not allowed to be gay. Ukraine is very homophobic country and I see how my life passes through and I can not effort me just a little human happiness and love.

'Aroma of my sperms'

INDONESIA

After I had my form at Malebox personals, I got many gay friends from US. I had many experiences with pen friend, although only in mail, like exchange gay nude photo, first sex experiences, sex story, and curious request: my friend asked me to jerk off and to catch my sperm in a tissue and send to him. Maybe aroma of my sperms could turn him on.

Like many Asian countries, sex life and gay are rare to talk (or to discuss). But nowadays, it's to be opened. How do guys get together for sex? It's more difficult to find (or to know) somebody is gay. If your friends knew you are gay and they didn't, maybe made you embarrassed to meet people and you will lose your friends. It's different from US, which is a liberal and free country. And gay has his right, his place, etc.

I'm 26 years old, with brown eyes and black hair. Like many Asian guys, I work in a shop and I also study at university. As for my sex life-- I have no partner. Sometimes, I satisfied with my hand or go to swimming pool and I will find a gay friend. In February '99 when I travelled to Malaysia, I met a Japanese friend, gay too, and we had sex. My hopes are find a gay partner, travelling to US or Europe, because gay people can act or do what they want to.

'Live now, not later'

NETHERLANDS

My name is Jan. I'm 38 years, single, living in the old centrum of Amsterdam. I have a nice house with a big garden and overlooking the canal. I work as a prison guard on a special ward psychiatric patients (like the movie Silence of the Lambs). I live openly gay, also in the prison, which was difficult in the beginning because of the macho culture. Before that I worked as an AIDS counselor in an outpatient clinic of the Free University Hospital, and before that three years with transsexuals in the same hospital. Travelling is a big hobby, and I like both cities and being in nature. I still hope to find a nice boyfriend, but still so far no success. After my experience as an AIDS counselor, my motto is "live life now and not later."

My own experience of Malebox: I wrote some letters but I get never answer, and this is not so nice specially if you had put some photos in. But on the other hand, I am still writing with two people from the US, and both want to visit me. Still, so far no sexual experiences, but that can come, I hope.

'Bored with Santos'

BRAZIL

I first saw The Guide in the pub "April" in Amsterdam at my first visit to that incredible city. Unfortunately it's not yet so comfortable to be out of the closet in Brazilian society. There are still a lot of prejudice. But it has been changing little by little in the last few years. Even before the economic crisis, some of our leaders were discussing a project about the union for people of the same sex, but it will take years to come true.

Around here guys get together for sex by several ways, such as in cruising areas, gay beaches, saunas, discos, bars... the usual! In the city where I live, the gay scene is boring. It's a beach city, but very small.

I am 25 years old, gay, Brazilian, nice, and cute. Main hobbies: gym and movies. I'm working as a receptionist in a hotel in Santos, very close to the beach. I'm living with my mother in satisfactory conditions. My sex life is OK, but not that much since my lover is from Scandinavia and we are away from each other since last August. Thank you Internet! He's from Norway, a country that I have visited twice. I'm dreaming about my return to Norway or to another country somewhere else in the world. I'm very bored with my life in Santos.

'Getting a man to bed not much of a problem'

SWITZERLAND

In Switzerland getting a man into bed is not too much of a problem. There is no legal punishment as long as both have the age of consent. You can meet people in bars, gay baths, discos, public toilets, parks, or just in the street. People travel a lot abroad for fun as here there isn't much. To compare with the US, I think that the sex scene must be close to zero despite that you can find people for sex-- but not my taste.

I'm 38 years old and work for an airline. I literally travel all around the world. I've got a good living standard (in Europe we have no right to complain) and I really hope to find a nice man to share life's most intimate moments. I dream of an Arab or Pakistani nice well-built boyfriend. Maybe because growing up in a Mediterranean environment and having had my first experiences and best one with them, I cannot forget. To be frank, a boy must have to turn me on a fat brown and circumcised clean cock, big hands and feet, and black hair and eyes. Despite the popular belief that Arabs only want to fuck, I can confirm that this is not true. If you really meet somebody who accepts his sexuality, you will have the kindest, most sweet-hearted, respectable, clean, and sincere lover. Being sexually not very wild, this just fulfills my needs.

My experiences with Malebox have been good. I managed to establish some contacts around the world either by replying to or placing ads. My aim is to meet people, become friends, and have sex-- that being the bonus.

Working myself for an airline, I answered an ad place by a guy working for the same company. This attracted both our curiosity. We decided to meet. The guy was a gorgeous Egyptian who still counts among my friends, and we had great sex. Unfortunately now he's married with a woman and he tries to be a good boy!

Travelling myself extensively Malebox allows me to make contacts in the Middle East and other parts of the world where gay life is very discreet and forbidden.

'I don't have good conditions to live but I fight'

CUBA

This letter is translating by a friend because I don't know anything in English so forgive me if my writing is not too good.

The first time I saw The Guide was when a friend of mine showed it to me and explained me every article.

We don't have sexual liberation in our country. We find a couple and we make sex in our home or in a hotel because the most part of people see us in a wrong way, like an extraterrestrial. I saw in some magazine that in the US the guys love is free and nobody care about this, so I don't have words to compare the two situations.

Now talking about myself, I can tell you I'm homosexual 100 percent. I'm single because I'm a deaf-mute man and of course it's very difficult for me to find the right person. I work as a haircutter in my own house. I live with my aunt because I haven't parents. I'm 28 years old, I'm told. Not thin, not fat. I have got brown eyes and brown hair. In Cuba I have a lot friends and they are very good people. My best friends are Barbara (who is writing this letter) and Marila. They are a lesbian couple of three years and five months together. I don't have good conditions to live but I fight and I try to survive. About sex life I have some experiences, but I try to take care of my health. I hope and are my aspirations to find a good couple, someone to really love me and understand me.

'To grow as a human being'

FINLAND

My first contact with The Guide was about four years ago, when a friend sent me a copy. I hesitated a bit, but after all sent you my ad. I got tens of replies. I started to correspond with seven guys. I knew from experience that within two years there would be only two or three left. Sure enough. But the two guys whom I am writing now have become very close friends. We write quite regularly. I have not been looking for sex partners. I just wanted to get to know new people and cultures.

Finland is quite a liberal country as to sexual liberation. It'll be in the near future that people of the same sex may register as couples. Harassment against gay people is quite rare. Sexuality is regarded as one's private thing. Finland compared to the USA is much more liberal on sexual matters. America is much more hypocritical about sex. We are more open and rational.

I am 54, doing all kinds of odd jobs, mostly teaching and social work. I have a flat of my own. Live in a town with 120,000 inhabitants. My sex life just now is very sporadic because I haven't got a permanent partner. I like sex, though. It's very important for one's body and soul. The more regularly the better. Sex in one-night stands is not my cup of tea. I need to know my partner a bit better.

My aspiration is to grow as a human being, to be more mature, to learn to love more. I'd be happy to participate in some voluntary work project in Asia or Africa. I wish we could be more genuinely interested in other people, to care about the poor, the homeless, the prisoners, the war victims, the old people, etc. When we care we share. It's easy to say "I love you," but it's difficult to live with love.

'AIDS has taken most of the guys I came to know'

TRINIDAD & TOBAGO

I was first introduced to The Guide back in 1994. A friend had a copy and, while browsing through its pages I came upon the personal ads. I have made quite a lot of new pen friends and I still correspond with 13 of them regularly. I have been visited by four of them so far.

I think lot of guys responded to my ad because I was honest about being HIV-positive. Except for two, all of my contacts are also HIV positive.

In Trinidad and Tobago homosexual acts are illegal, yet the percentage of men who have sex with other men is exceedingly high. As almost everywhere else, men cruise each other everywhere. Cruising also takes place during the day but is more prevalent at night. There are known cruising areas-- certain streets, parks, cemeteries-- and the sex act takes place in these places as well as cars, abandoned buildings, sometimes in hotels, or in each other's home.

Long before the pub scene, gay men have been keeping parties, and this trend continues. Almost every weekend there is a gay party at varying locations, and this affords many the opportunity to meet.

I was born on October 18th 1963. I come from a very large family of six brothers and four sisters. I am the second-to-last child and I am also a twin with one of my sisters. My mother is still alive but my father died two years ago.

I grew up seeing my parents argue and fight, and this had a marked effect on me. I was a very introverted young boy and remained so all through my school years. At the age of 13 an older man introduced me to gay sex and, by 16 I was cruising the streets at night in search of man sex.

AIDS has taken the lives of most of the guys I came to know over the years. For now I will continue to wait and hope for the best. I do love sex a great deal but gone are the days of wanton sex. I do it occasionally with two different guys, but the act now is more out of release than anything else.

I rent the place where I live and my living conditions are comfortable. My home is furnished and I recently acquired my very own computer. I am not yet on-line but I hope to be soon. I work from my home so I am here most of the time. I do scenery construction for the theater and at Carnival I let out rooms to visitors.

I am a Spiritual Baptist and am very active in my church. Having lived with HIV for so many years now and not being sick I realise that God has chosen me for His ministry. I am very involved in community work and have even been giving talks on living positively with HIV. I look forward to many more years of a productive life and hope to do some more travelling. If I come into the money I would like to purchase this property and start a small gay guesthouse.

'My sex life is about to take an upward turn'

KENYA

I first saw The Guide in a club called Tramps in Providence, Rhode Island, which has now changed names. My experience with the Malebox personals has not been a success until recently. I have made pen friends, last year-- September 26th to be exact. That's when I received a letter from a man that I am now planning to spend my life with, we are so in love. So finally the Malebox personals have given me a life partner.

The sexual liberation in Kenya for gay people is far from the pre-Stonewall days-- there isn't any liberation. Sexual encounters are clandestine and there is definitely no sex scene, let alone a gay scene.

I work as a management trainee at an exporting company. I have been to the US, UK, and Pakistan. My living conditions are OK. I come from a middle-class background so I have always lived a standard life. My sex life is almost pathetic, but it's about to take an upward turn because of this man I've met.

'I'm not poor nor rich, but I can eat every day'

SURINAME

I first saw The Guide in 1997 from a friend who lives now in Canada. My experience with the Malebox personals was not so good as I expected. I got many responses from guys all over the world. I wrote back to them but I didn't get any response. The editorial content of The Guide is very good, but you can put some hot stories in, too.

In our country, gay people are not accepted. We can't express ourselves. To be gay is a big taboo in Suriname. If the people here know you're gay, they look at you as if you are a disease, though there are also people who are gay-friendly.

Here in Suriname guys get together for sex secretly, sometimes at the home of one of their friend who lives alone. If there is no place to go, we go to the hotel.

My name is Sodirono. I'm born on the first of April 1973. In Paramaribo the capital of Suriname. I'm single and have no parents anymore. They died at an early age. I only live with my little brother, who's three. I'm the oldest one. We live in a house that we inherited from our parents. I'm working in a hospital as an assistant X-ray laborant. It's a very interesting job. You learn more about the human body, the organs inside the stomach, and the bones of skeleton.

My living condition is very good. I'm not poor nor rich but I can eat every day. I can buy things like clothes, food. I also can go out. I'm still single. I have not a constant sex life. But now and then I have an adventure with nice guys, and very safe, too. That's very important. My wish is to find somebody, a friend on whom I can depend, talk to all my problems. I miss the warmth of a strong guy.

'Most of the gays are feminine'

KUWAIT & COPENHAGEN

I first saw The Guide in a gay cafe here in Copenhagen. I have made several friends through the Malebox personals. I have received over 50 letters. I have corresponded with two or three, and have met one contact, who came to visit me here in Denmark for sex and friendship, but I have not seen him since the first time, almost 16 months ago.

Now I have no contact with any of them.

I was born in Kuwait, and there most of the gays are feminine and often work as hookers. They meet near the beach for sex. Now I'm a student, studying to become a chef, perhaps later cabin crew. I live in rooms in a dormitory. I have a friend from Chicago and we make love when we get horny.

I've been in almost all European countries, and when I get my Danish passport, I will come to the US. But I can't yet because the US Embassy here will not give me a visa.

They are apparently afraid that I'm some kind of terrorist, but I'm not. I'm just a nice, gorgeous, horny guy who would love to see the US of A, especially the gay part of it.

'I would like my art to provide me with a livelihood'

GUYANA

I am an emerging artist, 42 years old, but Guyana does not have an art market. So I do security work six days weekly for 12 hours. My living conditions would be slightly above the extreme poverty line. I can afford most of what I want, but worry that there is not much for savings. I live with my father in our own property in the country. Sex life is nil for the longest while, and that is in years. Hopefully when a small exhibition I have with another artist in a small town in Germany finishes in June, we could both move on to better things. I would like my art to provide me with a livelihood so I could stop wasting 12 hours doing security work and just stay home and paint. I have never been to the USA, but have visited some of the major countries in the Caribbean and Holland, France, England, Denmark, and Germany. I am fluent in German.

Formula for obtaining sex? In certain areas in the city it can be bought, and many people seem to be buying. Apart from that, everyone has their "associate." The sex scene here is mild compared to the USA. Guyana is very underdeveloped and ranked among the poorest countries in the world. America is still the land of freedom and opportunity, depending on your mind-set.

'I give my warm heart'

POLAND

Greetings warm from Poland. Guys from the USA and Europe are hard to find here. This summer two friends from the US will visit me. I love friendship with men from USA and sexy party. I am very active man in bed, have good large cock for my partner, give my warm heart, love, and friendship. I am a Polish man, 42 years old, free very single, honest, kind and open for other gay people, unemployed and poor. I live alone in Rzeszów, southeast Poland, a small city of only 200,000 people, near Krakow and the Tatra mountains. Poland is a Catholic country, but the church little persecutes gays. Gay people have in all large cities saunas, bars, discos, gay magazines, parks. In all large cities young boys and men work for money every time. An hour with boys costs 60 US dollars, full night from 200 to 300 dollars. No cheap! All old men must pay only money. **

Author Profile:  Bill Andriette
Bill Andriette is features editor of The Guide
Email:	theguide@guidemag.com