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December 2000 Cover
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By
Dawn Ivory
The only good thing about the Bush/Gore presidential contest is that one of those sacks of shit will lose (as of Dawn's deadline it wasn't clear which SOS it will be). Dawn has been disturbed at how little attention is being given to an imminently sensible solution to
the "Florida problem." Instead of wasting everyone's time with recount after recount (the results of which are sure to be challenged and debated), why not simply give the entire Sunshine State to the Bush family to run as a plantation (a task that Dawn is certain that they
are up to), and allow the rest of the country to be governed by Gore? This would be one step towards rectifying Mr. Lincoln's tragic mistake: failing to say goodbye to bad rubbish....
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Dirty Dishes!
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