Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Friends of Dawn know it's no secret that Dawn has been plagued by asshole troubles. What seemed an intractable boil was, in fact, finally diagnosed as a "fistula," which Dawn came to learn is a pathway connecting things that are not usually to be connected; in this case, the fistula connected Dawn's rectum with the outside world, a job normally done only by the asshole. Day surgery easily corrected this "second asshole" problem, and Dawn has once again been able to enjoy the pleasures that only a well-functioning anus and rectum can bring.

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Though not terribly frightened of going "under the knife" for such a simple procedure (an "anal fistulatomy"), Dawn's surgeon certainly commanded attention when warning that "rectal incontinence" was a remotely possible side effect.

Thank heavens no such horror accompanied Dawn's recovery, but should it have, Dawn has subsequently learned that a product called the Acticon Neosphincter may have helped. The device consists of a cuff surgically implanted around the anal canal, a pressure regulation balloon inserted in the abdomen, and a control pump. Pumping up the cuff locks the neosphincter closed, while releasing the pressure valve allows the rectum to join the outside world. Presumably, this would be in order to allow fecal voiding, but might also prove useful in returning lost tone to ones injured "velvet goldmine."