Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Japanese leadership in the high-tech toilet niche has been well-documented by Dawn in previous items; who cannot revel in news of electronically monitored seat warmers, gentle jets of asshole-aimed warm water, asscrack blow dryers, and at-home urinalysis to monitor a variety of health conditions?

Ironically, though, Japan also has a reputation for extreme modesty regarding public discussion or acknowledgment of bodily functions and needs, a trait being challenged by the Japan Toilet Association. As part of their 2007 campaign to install more toilets in public spaces (a move any urban American with a bladder or bowel can appreciate), schoolchildren are being taught the benefits of improved latrines.

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awn applauds the JTA and wishes it well in its valued undertakings. Perhaps, though, they (or a reader knowledgeable in these matters) can shed light on a matter that has puzzled Dawn about toilets with gizmos: how can a spritz of water and a puff of air hope "to make toilet paper obsolete"? To invoke a modesty-inspired analogy: if one enters the restroom to wash ones filthy hands, one does not simply run them under water and then hold them under those annoyingly-useless blower dryers, trying to accelerate drying time by smearing two wet hands together. No, one has to apply some friction to mechanically remove the schmutz. One is also always pleased to find useful paper towels (instead of ineffectual air dryers).

Proper ass cleansing would seem similarly to require some friction and wicking away of residue.

Now, Dawn has had it suggested that an under-the-seat asshole brush may be involved in well-gizmo-ed toilets, inviting the question, are these brushes communal? If so, Dawn fails to see how such can be promoted as a desirable alternative to old-fashioned ass-wiping. But Dawn, having never encountered such a toilet, is merely speculating. Can a better-traveled, better-informed reader enlighten?