Sex Histories	Sex Histories Archive

Many millions of men would love to have a naked drunken stranger, especially a cop, pass out in their bed. The allure of this dream is, of course, the belief that when a man passes out from alcohol, the part of his brain that confines him to socially acceptable sex is temporarily out of order and he will respond naturally, like a fucking animal, to such stimuli as a tickle on his nuts.

A 35-year-old Minneapolis cop "was accused of drinking a large amount of brandy ... driving from Hibbing along Highway 73 and then crashing his vehicle into a tree in front of a house in Moose Lake at about 5:45 P.M.," says the Saint Paul Pioneer Press.

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"While the family watched his car being towed," the paper says, the peace officer "entered the back door of the home" and "passed out naked in an upstairs bedroom." It is interesting that, with his mind nearly asleep, he still undressed completely.

He was discovered "at 9 P.M. when the family was preparing for bed." The paper does not say if he had a hard on; it is one of life's meanest tricks that a man is more likely to have a hard on while sleeping than he is while awake, when it would do somebody (if only himself) some good.

The single most shocking detail in the story is that anyone would prepare for bed at 9 o'clock. That is more shocking than a lonely young man, by now in his jockey shorts, saying, "I'll take care of him, Dad, and send him away when he sleeps it off."

But no such son is mentioned in the article. This was a dream that came true for people who hadn't dreamed it and didn't want it; it was a daughter's nine-year-old bed that the cop passed out in and she, understandably, did not have the interest in the naked crime-stopper that a son would have. Boys are famously eager to see grown men's hoses.

The Minneapolis cop was found guilty by a judge. While awaiting sentence, he was taken off patrol duty and given a desk job which will keep him out of strange beds at least during office hours.