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Lords II: Return to the Manor
Rating: 2 Stars
Edited and directed by Dylan Ryan. Videography by Chris Miles. Music by "Night After Night" Publishing. Starring Paolo Cortez, Tag Eriksson, Lee Carington, Dante Foxx, Shane Pascal, Sandy Sloane, Jason Tyler, Trayce Cannon, Tim Tyler, Brad Collins, Buck McCall, and Sean Skyler.
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Duplicating the premise of Lords of Jet Set Manor (2000), this sequel shows what happens when young hopefuls arrive at a stately manor house for auditions, presumably for Jet Set porn. The cast is new, but the setting is the same: an elaborately kitschy granite edifice meant to evoke the days when knights were bold. The castle comes with moat, drawbridge, formal gardens, and terraces with sweeping views of L.A. Inside, the place looks like a cross between a Medieval Manor franchise and a Sicilian whorehouse.

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Into this environment three auditionees wander one at a time, and get fucked. The first aspirant, Tag Eriksson, already a star thanks to Wash West's The Hole, is wasted in a businesslike encounter with Paolo Cortez. The most intriguing aspect of this scene is the mystery of why these two are wearing identical clothes. Next up is Shane Pascal, a curly-haired waif who writhes and squeals as Lee Carington bores into him. Carington, a deluxe blond top with a limited repertoire, then has a second, less interesting session with Jason Tyler, a fellow denizen of the estate.

The most recognizably human performance comes from the third auditionee, who seems to be Trayce Cannon. (The cast list in the opening credits is supposedly arranged in order of appearance, but there are errors.) Cannon, who smiles a lot, sometimes displaying braces on his teeth, provides a welcome spark of sexual energy. His scene involves a five-man orgy, but he and Tim Tyler do all the work. Dylan Ryan's listless direction aside, this video is beset by technical goofs peculiar to Jet Set Productions-- misspelled credits, inaudible dialogue, lobotomous music, sloppy lighting, and shots that don't match. Jet Set isn't a Poverty Row operation; the problems result from incompetence, carelessness, and disregard for both models and viewers.