January 2003 Cover
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By
Giacomo Tramontagna
Lost on Sex Island
Rating: 2 Stars
Produced, written, and directed by Thor
Stephans. Starring Billy Brandt, Drew Peters,
and Damian Ford.
How to order
This Thor Stephans effort has a rough competence that makes it watchable, although its continuity goes haywire, and its sexual episodes fall short of their potential. The premise is inane. In
The Island of Dr. Moreau, a mad scientist turned animals into men; in
Lost on Sex Island, a Moreau-like figure called Dr. Vixen (Damian Ford) turns men into sex pigs. His secret potion looks like apricot nectar. His operation is staffed by zombified servants
in loincloths made of napkins held up with rope. Vixen issues orders like, "Ven dis one avakens, get him in de mood and bring him oafer to me!" As Drew Peters exclaims at one point, "This whole drama's full of shit."
The best of four principal sex scenes is one in which Vixen, wearing only a lab coat, has his way with naked captive Jay Ross. But Billy Brandt, the golden boy who gave gay viewers heart palpitations in Falcon products
like Absolute Arid (1999), gets top billing. Brandt hasn't lost his appeal, but here he seems klutzy, self-conscious, and slightly wasted and he's been burdened with dopey narration that would thwart a more practiced actor.
("I'm marooned on a island off the coast of Cuba; I think I'm south of Key West....") Most alarmingly, when Brandt connects with Kirk Kelley in a bamboo thicket and then in a bedroom, Kelley sucks and sucks, but Brandt can't
get a full erection. In this scene the fucking looks faked, with penetration close-ups edited in, and Brandt doesn't come. Luckily, the star eventually redeems himself in a dream encounter with Peters, his mainland contact
and potential rescuer, whose sexual intensity or Dr. Vixen's sex drug, or Viagra produces a response.
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