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Boyland
Rating: 2 Stars
Produced, written, and directed by Dan Cross. Videography by Ed Maxxx. Edited by Andrew Rosen. Music by J.D. Slater. Starring Armando, Bobby Benson, Tommy DeLuca, Brent Everett, Owen Hawk, Jason Hawke, Aaron Heights, Jacy, Jeremy Jordan, Court Logan, Chase McKenzie, Tim Reynolds, Cody Scott, Steven Waye, Sean Conner, Andrew Addams, Rod Barry, Candy Francea, and Jason Sizemore.
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Boyland is a gay male theme park whose patrons can enjoy a scenic boink on the "Mile High Club Wheel," play "Hook a Husband" or "Stump the Size Queen," tour a homoerotic haunted house, place bets on which masturbating hunk will reach orgasm first, and hop on a "Rent Boys of the Caribbean" ride that threads its way through tantalizing rental options. The premise is silly but potent. Unfortunately, writer/director Dan Cross can't muster enough wit to make this exercise fun, and production values are sometimes tacky.

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The best sex scene is the fifth and last, in which "Rent Boys" customer Court Logan hops off the ride as it passes a hideaway where sex buccaneers keep their booty, and dallies there with three paid partners. In preceding episodes, Jeremy Jordan drops out of a haunted-house tour and into the arms of friendly ghost Jason Hawke, his off-screen partner; Brent Everett wins a ring-toss game by hooking a ring on an upthrust penis belonging to Chase McKenzie; and-- in the weakest, sketchiest passage-- cute, skinny Bobby Benson beats his jerk-off competitors to a climax. In the opening segment, Aaron Height and Owen Hawk have sex with professional aplomb in a ludicrous mock-up of a ferris-wheel seat. (It's supposed to be hanging high above the midway, but it's all too obviously resting on the floor in front of a clunky painted backdrop.) Director Cross's best idea may have been to steer his models toward some zestful testicle-sucking; he should have given other aspects more thought.