Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

Cyberwise readers are urged to visit www.theonion.com/onion3326/homosexualrecruit.html for a full report on how the "1998 Homosexual Recruitment Drive" is closing in on its goal of 350,000 new homos before the end of the year. Boasting of the group's effectiveness in infiltrating public schools, recruitment director Patricia Emmonds stresses that "it's crucial we reach kids while they're still young-- that's when they're most vulnerable to our message of sexual promiscuity and deviance."

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The web page (a product of the Onion) quotes Christopher Linn, 8, a second-grader at Philadelphia's Lakeside Elementary: "When I grow up, I want to be gay. I don't want to have a family or go to church."

"Straight people don't have any fun," adds Teddy Nance , 11, after watching the anti-heterosexual filmstrip Breeders Are Boring! at Crestwood Elementary in Roanoke, Virginia. "Gay people get to do whatever they want."

Though a welcome antidote to the tenebrific, overwrought rhetoric omnipresent in our movement, Dawn particularly urges our political "leaders" to relax their sphincters for a moment and visit this most informative web site....