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L'Elisir d'Amore
Rating: 2 Stars
Produced by Lucas Kazan and Ettore Tosi. Directed by Lucas Kazan. Videography by Leonardo Rossi. Edited by Egisto Mastroianni. Music by Andrea Ruscelli and Gaetano Donizetti. Starring Federico Bulsara, Filippo Romano, Lucas Foz, Vilem Cage, Giorgio Salieri, Mattia Saleni, Luca Ferri, Daniele Castaldo, and Michele Luppo.
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In Donizetti's L'Elisir d'Amore, a two-act comic opera first performed in 1832, a village lad named Nemorino loves Adina, a well-to-do lady betrothed to Belcore, a military man. Despairing and gullible, Nemorino tries to win Adina over by purchasing a potion from Dulcamara, an itinerant swindler. This "elixir" is supposed to render Nemorino irresistible to women. Since it's actually a bottle of Bordeaux, it just makes him drunk. Operatic complications ensue, but in the end Adina drops Belcore and consents to marry Nemorino.

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In Lucas Kazan's all-male, non-singing video version, Nemorino (Lucas Foz) is a lovesick dweeb who stalks blocky, rubber-lipped Aldo (Filippo Romano) up and down the picturesque streets of a seaside Italian resort. Aldo spends most of his time with his buddy Belcore, with whom he may or may not be sexually involved. Overcome with angst, Nemorino visits the local sex club. There, as he watches two customers getting it on, he chews gum with his mouth open, looking too stupid to live. Despite this, he attracts Federico Bulsara, a no-bullshit hottie who ushers him into the closest equivalent to great sex this misfire has to offer.

Nemorino's obsession with Aldo continues, however. He imagines Aldo and Belcore, and later two of their friends, in monotonous sexual congress. He's briefly distracted by exquisitely pretty Daniele Castaldo, but Castaldo's only present for a short, moribund jerkoff scene. At last Nemorino turns to Dulcamara, a psychic who sells him a magic elixir. Fortified, he approaches Aldo, who responds with a kiss. Their encounter gets off to a promising start on a beach against incoming waves, then moves to a set where the lighting design makes the lovers look candied.

L'Elisir d'Amore has a gorgeous cast and occasional fiery moments-- Bulsara peeling Foz's shirt off, Romano and Salieri standing face to face while their cocks brush together, Foz convulsing orgasmically as Romano fucks him. It's too bad it isn't better. Its artiness isn't the principal problem, as in some of William Higgins's music-drenched Czech productions; it's just dull. The sex is full of dismal static passages; some models lie in one position for so long you wonder if they're paralyzed. There are irritating jump cuts and confusing editorial choices. Even Donizetti's music, quoted repetitively on the soundtrack, gets annoying. Lucas Kazan can do better.