January 2008 Cover
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By
Giacomo Tramontagna
The Miners
Rating: 2 Stars
Directed by Cristian Ferrero. Videography by Rick and Jair Lemos. Edited by Cicero Marques. Music by Studio Karo. Starring Jhonatan, Adriano Gusmão, Kaio di Castro, Thiago Camargo,
Alex Jr., Poax, Alexandre Senna, and Caio.
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Somewhere in Brazil, deep down below the surface of the earth, young men with bulging pants and gleaming teeth are hard at work. Bustling about inside what seems to be an oversized wad of crumpled paper sprayed
with shellac, they're digging for some unnamed substance. (Emeralds?
Papier maché? Viagra? Who knows?) Suddenly, without warning, the camera gets a violent case of the jitters. Dust resembling finely milled tortilla flour falls
from the ceiling. There's a deafening roar. Above ground, a mine employee runs into an office and -- presumably, since there are no subtitles -- tells the person in charge that the mine has caved in. Displaying the compassion
of capitalists everywhere, the managerial type insists on calming the agitated worker down with unimaginative sex before giving trapped and injured miners a thought.
M
eanwhile, however, the trapped and injured miners are passing the time in similar fashion. The two subterranean one-on-one sex scenes seem oxygen-deprived, but the setting is, of course, a section of tunnel obstructed
by fallen debris. Besides, at least one of the participants has been knocked senseless, and probable imminent death may not be the best aphrodisiac. Finally, perusing a map of the mine, two rescue workers peel off their
clothes and start gobbling each other's fat uncut dicks.
This Latin American clinker would hardly be worth noting if it didn't raise the specter of a weird new species of disaster porn -- sex during and after shipwrecks, plane crashes, train derailments, earthquakes, fires,
floods, explosions, mudslides, and volcanic cataclysms.
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