Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes Archive

"Slumping," "sagging," and "stumbling" Al Gore has been forced to admit that the Democratic primary is now a real contest between the VP and Bill Bradley. Al summed it up nicely with a depressingly-apt metaphor: "Voters have a choice-- it's Coke or Pepsi!"

(Is it possible that corporations will soon be, if not already, paying for such product placements? Candidates' limousines could be plastered with stickers ą la formula race-cars... commercials could have the same tastefully-voiced lead-ins as PBS shows: "Ninety Seconds with Al Gore is brought to you by the First Bank of Hong Kong... by Phillip-Morris... by Microsoft... and by the support of viewers like you....")

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(Gore's inanity also reminded Dawn of Michael Dukakis's 1988 politically-loony pronouncement that his contest with the ancient George Bush was "about competence, not ideology," a sad truth destined to depress countless Democratic voters.)

At first, Dawn presumed that Gore would, following his home region's strong beverage preference, label Bradley as the number-two Pepsi. But, no-doubt, forward-thinking strategists in the Gore camp will want to have the Veep take the underdog's trademark, leaving the "Coke" tag for the democrat's opponent in the general election... whoever he might be.