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By
Giacomo Tramontagna
Mall Cruisin' X-L
Rating: 2 Stars
Produced and directed by Brian Boxer. Written by George Champion. Videography by Ed Maxx. Edited by Koo Koo Boy at Aries Post. Music by E.J. Kalb. Starring Cody Reeves,
Hawk MacAllistar, Paul Morgan, Dany Brown, Mike Cesar, Duncan Milles, Dean Maxwell, and Drew Andrews.
How to order
In Mall Cruisin' there's no cruising per
se. From time to time we see footage of Drew Andrews walkin' around the Beverly Center mall, where he's shoppin', not cruisin'. There are four sex episodes, three of which do
have mall settings. In a dressing room in a men's clothing emporium (establishing shots suggest it's Macy's Men's Store), tailor Paul Morgan measures naked Mike Cesar ("I just don't wear underwear") for a suit.
Complications arise when Morgan asks to see what
Cesar's dick looks like hard, so that he can cut the trousers to accommodate a possible boner.
Next, in the employees' locker room, Morgan and Dany Brown show new hire Hawk McAllistar the secret to early promotion. In the executive offices, Duncan Milles and Dean Maxwell shuck their clothes
to conduct age-old transactions. Finally, Drew Andrews comes home to new friend Cody Reeves and-- after uninspired sex-- presents him with a mall-purchased birthday gift.
The Beverly Center, with its neo-Marriott atrium spaces and escalators that look stolen from the Centre Pompidou, figured prominently in the film
Clueless; here it figures in a video that should have
been entitled Witless. George Champion's screenplay has a numbing complement of lines like, "Well, I'm off to the mall." Paul Morgan, who seems to have ad-libbed a lot ("Suck it like a good altar boy"), stands out in a cast
that could have used more help from director Brian Boxer.
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